Early-Momming: Now vs. Then (And Why You Might Be Feeling the Whiplash)

Early-Momming: Now vs. Then (And Why You Might Be Feeling the Whiplash)

If you’ve ever caught yourself whispering, “How did moms do this before?” while Googling something like “how to store breastmilk at room temp” or “is it okay to let a newborn nap on me?”, this one’s for you.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately—how early-momming has evolved over the past few generations. The contrast is wild. Our moms (and grandmothers) didn’t have Instagram reels or Substacks or online memberships for new moms. And while they didn’t face the same digital overwhelm we do, their experience came with a very different kind of isolation.

Let’s talk about it.

Then: Isolation Without Resources

Think back just one generation. No smartphones. No online communities. No constant influx of parenting advice from strangers and experts and random influencers with ring lights.

Our moms had maybe a few parenting books, maybe their own mom (if that relationship was close and healthy), and maybe a local mom group—if they were lucky. Information was limited. Feeding problems? Sleep questions? Postpartum anxiety? You might’ve just been told to “rest when the baby sleeps” and “enjoy every moment.”

And if something wasn’t going well? You probably didn’t talk about it.

One of my favorite quotes I heard recently was from a mom who said, “My mom just told me she was too tired to even have intrusive thoughts.”

There’s a kind of simplicity in that—because you just had to make it through—but also a deep loneliness. If your baby wouldn’t latch or you were crying every day at 3 p.m., there was no lactation consultant on speed dial. No Instagram post to validate your experience. No searchable guide to get answers at 3 a.m.

I think about that a lot. How so many of us were mothered by women who didn’t feel safe to say, “This is hard.”

Now: Connection + Overload

Fast forward to today. We have so many resources, it’s overwhelming. It’s like we swung the pendulum all the way to the other side. Moms today have Facebook groups, podcasts, Substacks, evidence-based guides, online courses, texting with friends, DMs with experts.

We’re not isolated in the traditional sense. But we’re often in our own heads. We second-guess ourselves constantly. And we scroll-scroll-scroll trying to figure out which feeding method, which sleep strategy, which postpartum recovery product is the right one.

We have information—but we often feel less confident.

Early-Momming Now: Navigating the Noise

That’s why I’m so passionate about what we’re building at Baby Settler. I wanted to create something that didn’t exist when I was a new mom: a way to cut through the noise without falling into a one-size-fits-all camp.

That’s why our Labor & Delivery / Newborn / Postpartum Guide exists. It walks you through the first few hours, days, and weeks with your baby—with real-deal, non-preachy advice from a labor & delivery nurse (me). If you’re wondering things like, “What do I actually need in my hospital bag?” or “How do I keep my baby awake for a full feed?”—this guide has you.

And then there’s our Complete Breastfeeding & Pumping Guide—because we know that feeding challenges don’t end after the latch. Whether you’re combo feeding, exclusively pumping, dealing with supply issues, or weaning, this guide meets you wherever you are. No judgment. Just solid, clinical guidance plus a whole lot of “you’re doing great.”

Because the truth is: there’s no perfect way to feed or sleep or mom. But there is a way that works best for your family. And you deserve to have the knowledge to figure out what that looks like—without spiraling down a Google rabbit hole at 2 a.m.

Why This Season Feels So Heavy (Even If You “Have Help”)

Here’s the thing I don’t think we talk about enough: Even though we have more support now (hello, text chains and therapists and pelvic floor PTs and online memberships), motherhood still feels heavy.

In fact, it can feel heavier in some ways. Because we’re constantly aware of what we could be doing.

We know all the things:

• We know screen time impacts sleep.

• We know co-regulation is important.

• We know floor time helps with development.

• We know we should be eating more protein.

So when we’re not doing those things? We feel like we’re failing.

Our moms didn’t have Instagram telling them that they needed to wake up at 5 a.m., work out, journal, drink lemon water, and meditate before the baby wakes up. They just… did what they could.

And while we don’t want to go back to a time without resources or community, it’s okay to crave simplicity.

The Hybrid We’re All Creating

I think what we’re all trying to build in this generation of motherhood is a kind of hybrid experience.

We don’t want to go back to being completely on our own. But we also don’t want to be inundated with advice that makes us feel like we’re never enough.

We want:

• Access to solid, trusted guidance (not random TikTok tips)

• The ability to filter through advice without drowning in it

• Community that doesn’t pressure us to parent a certain way

• The space to say “This is hard”—and still feel like a good mom

Let’s Normalize the Middle

The truth is: we’re not trying to reinvent the wheel. We’re just trying to get a good night’s sleep, feed our babies in peace, and not lose ourselves in the process.

So if you’re toggling between your mom’s voice in your head and the Instagram expert on your screen, just know—you’re not alone.

You’re part of a generation of women doing motherhood differently. And that’s not just okay. It’s powerful.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, I want you to know: you’re not doing it wrong. It’s just that early-momming now is a full-contact sport.

And if you want a little extra support (without the overwhelm), check out our guides. We’re here, we’re real, and we’re rooting for you.

Explore the Guides and Podcast:

• The Labor & Delivery / Newborn / Postpartum Guide

• The Complete Breastfeeding & Pumping Guide

• The Early-Momming Podcast

Because Googling in the middle of the night is overrated.

Need help deciding which guide is best for you? DM us on Instagram @babysettler or email info@babysettler.com—we’ll point you in the right direction.

In your corner,

Hillary