Navigating Postpartum Sex: What You Need to Know About Intimacy After Baby

Navigating Postpartum Sex: What You Need to Know About Intimacy After Baby

Postpartum sex can feel like a mystery. After giving birth, your body goes through so many changes, both physically and emotionally, that it can leave you feeling disconnected from intimacy. Whether you delivered vaginally or via C-section, it’s normal for sex to feel different after baby. But with the right knowledge, you can ease back into intimacy with confidence.

In this podcast, we’re diving deep into the world of postpartum sex—debunking common myths, offering tips for better intimacy, and addressing the crucial role of pelvic floor therapy in your recovery. This is all about giving you the tools to reclaim your sexuality and connection with your partner.

What Happens to Your Body After Birth?

Whether you’ve had a vaginal delivery or C-section, your body has undergone a huge transformation during childbirth. Understanding the physical changes that happen postpartum is key to easing back into intimacy after baby.

Vaginal Delivery:
After a vaginal birth, the pelvic floor undergoes significant strain. Even if you didn’t experience any tearing, your muscles will need time to heal. Many women feel tightness or discomfort in the vaginal area, and that’s where pelvic floor therapy can help. Scar tissue from tears or episiotomies can also lead to pain during sex. But with the right care, these issues can be addressed.

C-Section Recovery:
For moms who’ve had a C-section, the recovery process is different. Instead of vaginal tearing, the incision site itself becomes an area of concern. C-sections can lead to a weakened core, and the pelvic floor may compensate by tightening up. This overcompensation can also lead to pain during sex. Just like with vaginal birth, pelvic floor therapy can help strengthen the core and pelvic muscles, so your body can heal properly.

Both types of births require attention to pelvic floor health. And in both cases, you can’t rush the healing process. It’s vital to be patient with yourself and give your body the time it needs to recover.

Postpartum Sex Myths You Should Know

As you begin to think about intimacy again, there are a few common myths about postpartum sex that you should understand.

Myth #1: You Should Be Ready for Sex by Six Weeks
It’s a common misconception that you’re “good to go” for sex six weeks after birth. While the six-week mark is when your doctor or midwife might clear you for sex, many women find they’re just not physically or emotionally ready by then. In fact, it’s perfectly normal to need more time. Whether it’s eight weeks, 12 weeks, or longer, only you and your body can decide when it’s time.

Myth #2: Breastfeeding Kills Your Sex Drive
Breastfeeding is known to affect libido, but it doesn’t necessarily kill it. Many women experience a decrease in libido due to the hormonal shifts caused by breastfeeding. Prolactin, the hormone that promotes milk production, can decrease your desire for intimacy. But this doesn’t mean your sex drive is gone forever. Over time, your body will adjust to the changes, and your libido can return.

Myth #3: You Can’t Get Pregnant While Breastfeeding
This one’s a big myth. While breastfeeding can delay ovulation, it doesn’t prevent pregnancy. So if you’re not ready for another baby, make sure to use other forms of birth control even while breastfeeding. It’s important to talk to your doctor about postpartum birth control options that work best for you. Options include cycle tracking (and natural family planning) to medications. 

Why Does Sex Hurt After Having a Baby?

Pain during postpartum sex is common, but that doesn’t mean it should be something you just have to deal with. If sex is painful, there’s likely an underlying issue that needs to be addressed.

Scar Tissue: If you experienced tearing or an episiotomy during childbirth, scar tissue can cause discomfort. Scar tissue can be treated with pelvic floor therapy, which can help loosen tight muscles and improve flexibility.

Tight Pelvic Floor: Many women have tight pelvic floors postpartum, even if they didn’t tear. A tight pelvic floor can make penetration painful. Pelvic floor therapy can help relax these muscles and restore function.

Dryness: Hormonal changes, especially during breastfeeding, can cause vaginal dryness. This can lead to discomfort during sex. The right lubricants can make a world of difference here.

How to Improve Postpartum Libido

Getting back to feeling good about intimacy after baby takes time and self-care. Here are some ways to improve your postpartum libido:

Talk to Your Partner: Communication is key when it comes to postpartum intimacy. Let your partner know what feels good and what doesn’t. They want to support you, but they can’t help if they don’t know what’s going on.

Pelvic Floor Therapy: As we’ve discussed, pelvic floor therapy can do wonders for restoring pelvic function and alleviating pain during sex. A pelvic floor physical therapist can guide you through exercises that help relax tight muscles and strengthen weak ones.

Lubrication: Vaginal dryness is common postpartum, and using a lubricant can make sex more comfortable. Some of the best options include Good Clean Love, Uberlube, and Medicine Mama’s Vulva Balm. These are safe for postpartum use and can help make intimacy more enjoyable.

Self-Care: Take time to care for yourself. Whether it’s taking a warm bath, doing gentle stretches, or getting a massage, make sure you’re feeling good in your body. When you feel relaxed and cared for, you’re more likely to feel in the mood for intimacy.

Emotional Connection: Intimacy is not just about physical touch; it’s about emotional connection too. Spend quality time with your partner outside of sex. This helps rebuild the emotional bond that may have been strained by the physical and emotional demands of parenthood.

When Should You See a Pelvic Floor Therapist?

If you’re experiencing pain during sex, low libido, or any other physical discomfort postpartum, a pelvic floor therapist is your best resource. Here’s when you should consider making an appointment:

• You have pain during sex that doesn’t go away after a few attempts
• You have urinary leakage, constipation, or other pelvic health issues
• You’re feeling tightness or discomfort in your pelvic floor
• You’re struggling to reconnect with your body postpartum
• A pelvic floor therapist can assess your muscles and give you the tools you need to heal, both physically and emotionally.

Final Thoughts

Postpartum sex can be challenging, but it doesn’t have to be something you avoid. With the right support—whether through pelvic floor therapy, communication with your partner, or using lubricants—you can begin to reclaim intimacy after baby. Remember, there’s no “normal” timeline for getting back to sex. Be patient with yourself and seek help when needed.

If you’re struggling with intimacy or pain postpartum, don’t hesitate to reach out to a pelvic floor therapist for support. You deserve to feel good in your body again and to reconnect with your partner.

Must-Have Resources

• For more support and resources, check out The Baby Settler On-Demand Guides delivered through the Baby Settler app.

• Hillary’s Book: “Babies Made Simple” 

• Prenatal and Postpartum Consultations with the Baby Settler Team: Book your session today
• Follow Baby Settler on IG for tips and support